Shine Bright

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Sometimes all the time I would be afraid to raise my hand in class when a teacher asked a question, even though I knew the answer. Instead of trusting myself, I always feared being wrong and being judged because of it, even though nothing ever happened if anyone else answered the question wrong. Looking back, I don't know why I never answered questions, what kept me from raising my hand. I didn't really have a valid reason other than this irrational fear of being wrong.

But what if I had answered? What if I had raised my hand, and answered correctly? Or even incorrectly. It would have showed that I was engaged, and that I cared. I think that I was still able to convey this through my body language (and note-taking), but I think it could have helped me so much.

I guess what I'm saying is that I don't really know what was holding me back, but if I can learn to overcome it, I could be so much better. Yes, I've graduated, but I feel like this could be applied more broadly, to life in general. I need to stop being so afraid. Because if I let go of this absurd, irrational fear of being wrong or looking stupid or not being perfect, then I can live life so much more fully. I can get the most out of life, which is something that I definitely feel like I'm not doing right now. I need to stop being so afraid of all the things that could go wrong, so I can start participating experiencing life-- so I can sparkle a little brighter.

The title of this post totally just got this song stuck in my head don't judge me.

Magical Monday

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Once again, it's Monday. Sometimes the weekend ends far too soon. Work went by quickly though, which was nice, especially because I went in a little bit early. Though I think next time, if I go early to get breakfast, I will make a pit stop at Starbucks, cuz I was so sleeeepy today. I've been really tired lately, and I don't know why. I think it's because I keep waking up in the wrong part of my sleep cycle or something, since I feel like my alarm keeps going off in the middle of my dreams.

The list: 

1. Asos. I just got two things from Asos, so I'm super excited for them to get here. Hopefully they fit/look cute/I find something to wear with the skirt.

2. Denny's. My family and I went there the other night after work. Chicken strips, with sides of mac and cheese and fries. So much yummy.

3. Exciting news. I found out that a friend of mine (who graduated a year before me) while be in the area in about a month, so I'm really hoping that things work out so that I can see her. It's been probably four months since I've seen her, which is way too long.

4. The water. My bus route goes across the water. Whenever it's nice and sunny out, the water is the prettiest shade of blue. It's so lovely to see on the bus coming home. It's a shame the entire bus ride isn't along the water. Regardless, it definitely makes my commute a little more tolerable.

5. Cory Monteith. I heard about his death Saturday night, and I think I was in shock. Glee is one of my favorite shows, and to hear that he was dead was so unthinkable, since he was still so young. Though he's apparently been open about his struggle with drugs, and I hadn't really heard about it until reading about his death. It's a shame, he was far too young to die. R.I.P. Cory Monteith.

Ahoy There

Hey look, real outfit photos, not just a picture taken with my dumb phone! I can't guarantee they'll be as regular as they were, but eventually I do want to get back there. 

Today was my first time taking photos outside, so I'm still trying to figure out what settings work well, so please bear with me a little bit.

Really not much has been going on in my life. I've just been working a lot, and when you combine working full-time with a commute that ranges from an hour and twenty minutes to nearly two hours, it doesn't really leave me with a whole lot of motivation left to do anything by the time I get home.

Oh hey, random bee.

This outfit is a little nicer than what I wear most weekends (unless I actually have plans). Usually it's just jeans (or shorts) and a shirt that I don't deem nice enough to wear to work t-shirts. Classy, I know. 

This tank top has been sitting in my closet feeling neglected, because it's probably been a year since I've worn it. At one point I think I decided I didn't like it, but wearing it now, I don't remember why, so who knows what I was thinking. It's a good tank top for a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Tank Top: Charlotte Russe. Jeans: Forever 21. Sandals: Fred Meyer.

I thought I'd add this bonus picture, showing how horrible I am at figuring out settings on my camera. This is the same setting as the other pictures, the only difference was that I was standing closer to the camera. And this is after a lot of editing to make it so that you can even see what I'm wearing. Clearly, if I want to keep doing outfit photos (and I do), I'll need to get my camera sorted out. And maybe actually buy a tripod. I set my camera on the garbage bin for these pictures (I'm just really good at keeping it classy).

What I Bought: Asos

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So, I did end up buying something from the sale I mentioned yesterday. I ended up getting this striped skirt and dress. I don't actually think I have anything to wear with the skirt, but it's suuuuuper cute and it was such a good deal! And the dress is a good basic piece, which I'm kind of lacking in my wardrobe. I also really like the color. And the fact it's from Asos Petite, so it shouldn't be too long. Hopefully they fit! I never know what sizes to order.

Also, I was showing my brother, and he told me the skirt would be good for the 4th of July or Christmas ("because it's striped like a candy cane." He knows I love a good theme!) and the dress would be nice for when I "wanna dress a little fancy, like when we go to Applebee's." What a cutie. I've taught him well.

I don't know if I've mentioned before, but my little brother is nine.

My Bad

I was gonna post tonight, but then I got distracted looking at the enormous sale section on the Asos website...

I'll let you know if I buy anything.

Reinvent Yourself

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Sometimes I want to wear something, but then I think, "That's not really me though." While I may not have a signature style, there are still things that I don't normally wear. To do so, would put me out of my comfort zone, and (in my mind) would confuse those who know me, because it's different.

But why shouldn't I? What's actually stopping me from dressing a certain way? It's really all in my mind. Sometimes I wish that I could go somewhere knew so that I could have a completely fresh start, where I could reinvent myself. Even if only for a day. I think it'd be interesting.

I'm trying to reinvent myself, even if it's just in small ways. I mean, that's what this blog is, in a way. It gives me an outlet to express myself in a way I never could before. 

I want to try more in my everyday life, though. Part of it is just fear holding me back. Fear of how I'll look, and what others will think. I need to stop letting it hold me back though. I need to be brave enough to reinvent myself, even if only for a little bit. 

Taking Inspiration from Katniss

Today I decided to try out the hairstyle that Jennifer Lawrence sported during most of her screen time as Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games. I had been meaning to try it out since I saw the movie in theaters (over a year ago...) but I just never got around to it until today. 

I did it in about five minutes, maybe even less, without a mirror to check how it looked until I was done. I must say, it ended up looking pretty good. Easy, and it kept my hair from falling out of the braid, like it normally does. 

Here's the back! This is the best picture that I was able to get of it. I tried out the mirror, which is how I got the next two pictures, but I was having a lot of problems actually taking pictures of my hair. #selfieproblems?

This one is kind of hard to see, but I think it gives the clearest view of how the hairstyle works from the back.

This one is a lot more clear, but it doesn't show as much. Still, it gives an idea of what it looked like.

Of course, it all probably looked a lot better at seven in the morning when I first did it, instead of nine at night when I took the pictures, but I didn't have time to take pictures before I left for work.

Please ignore how messy the bathroom is. I didn't have a better mirror to take the pictures in, and the bathroom is storing some of my clothes...